Healing is never easy

 

why do I always break things?

 

give me something, anything to soothe

this endless why

I am nothing except gossamer threads

and split ends

searching endlessly for resolution

I tangle hopelessly instead, skeins

of never never never

flowering up my throat and growing thorns

as they bloom

scarlet roses that choke the words already dying

in the back of my mouth

 

I just want

so

fucking

much

that it all shatters in the too-tight grip of my greedy hands

 

because you can run as fast as you want, my dear

and right there you’ll be waiting

a smile on your face as you hold out your arms and offer

everything that you tried to escape

on a platter

that isn’t so much silver as it is a reflection

of everything you cannot hide from yourself

 

why do I always do this? is the mantra

that keeps me staring out into the dark silk

of the early morning

always waiting

for lightning to strike like inspiration

and turn these bedsheets into salvation

turn this endless waking

into rest

 

Scarlett Harris 

Featured Writer